Breakups are painful, and feeling the loss of a previous partner can be challenging. It can feel confusing, complicated and your emotions may fluctuate on a regular basis. In many ways, it can be healthy to limit all contact with your ex-partner in order to adjust to this important transition. Sometimes, it can be tempting to keep track of them using social media.
If you continue to spend time focused on your ex and what they’re up to, you may find yourself grieving for a longer period of time. It can also hold you back from focusing on the ways that you can grow from the breakup. Social media can be addicting, and many people have to actively put limitations on their usage in order to protect their mental wellness. During times of stress, it can be even more detrimental because you are more vulnerable to sensitive content.
Letting Go
The grieving process takes time. Some people may find that they are able to move on from a breakup faster than others. It’s important that you allow yourself to feel the loss of an individual from your life in order to move forward.
Many people find it helpful to limit their contact with their ex by avoiding the use of their social media accounts. You may want to “unfollow” or “mute” your ex-partner so that you aren’t surprised or tempted by their content. Though this may feel like a drastic shift, it doesn’t have to be permanent. Focusing on yourself and how you plan to move on from the breakup can help you detach from your ex-partner in a healthy way.
In addition, if your ex-partner has started seeing someone new, it can cause internal conflict to be exposed to their relationship. Though there may be times that you may not be able to resist checking in on them, making an active effort to limit how much you look at their content can help you accept that your ex has moved on. Avoid looking at the social media accounts of the person that your ex-partner is dating, and focus instead on how you can find happiness in your day to day life.
It’s also important to not try to seek out revenge or attention from an ex-partner through your social media accounts. Though you may experience temporary satisfaction at the time, this behavior holds you back from truly letting go of the person that you were previously in a relationship with.
Though it can be hard to let go of someone who you used to share your life with, continuing to fixate on how they’re spending their time can lead to false assumptions. People generally only post positive moments on social media, and it can be easy to get a false interpretation of their happiness. Doing so may make you feel tempted to compare your own life to theirs, and can prevent you from fully moving on from the breakup.
Why Too Much Social Media Can Be Detrimental
Breakups aside, social media can be a slippery slope for some people. It can feel good to have easy access to people we love and inspire us, but it can also leave some people feeling disappointed in their own life. Knowing how much social media is beneficial to you, and when to draw the line is an important skill to have in the modern day.
Some people find it difficult not to compare themselves to people that they see on their social media accounts, and it can leave them feeling excluded, left behind or that there is pressure to have a “perfect” life. It’s important to remember that no matter how amazing a person appears to be online, everyone has their own struggles and obstacles in life. How much a person chooses to share on social media is a personal choice, and they often choose to only share their best moments.
Seeking out satisfaction from online attention can leave people feeling dissatisfied from their everyday life. Not only that, but social media can be distracting! Spending too much time on your phone can take your attention from the world around you. This isn’t to say that social media can’t be fun or enjoyable. You may even find yourself learning new skills and seeing something that makes your day feel brighter. The important thing to remember when it comes to social media is that it’s all about balance.
Productive Ways To Move Forward
Even if social media isn’t the best way to work through grief in a breakup, there are many other ways you can work through difficult emotions in a productive way. Seeking out support from loved ones, and enjoying things you love to do can help you feel more like yourself again. You can also try picking up new hobbies, taking some time off to getaway or trying to do more mood-boosting activities (like exercise).
For many people, reflecting after a breakup is important. Taking time to write down your thoughts and feelings, and to reflect on what you’ve learned can help you move forward in a healthy way.
If you’re struggling on a day to day basis with the aftermath of a breakup, consider speaking to a mental health professional. Therapy is a great way to work through your emotions with someone who can give you healthy coping skills, and gives you a non judgemental space to explore how the end of the relationship has affected you.
Marie Miguel Biography
Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health-related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.
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